The Impact of Loneliness and Isolation
During this time of enforced isolation many of us may be experiencing loneliness. The following thoughts may help you to lessen the impact of loneliness at this time.
Three broad types of loneliness
1. Circumstantial loneliness occurs when things happen that are beyond our control, such as:
- Covid 19 keeps us away from others
- Recent death of a family member
- Sickness
- Relocation
- Job responsibilities involve separations from family and friends
2. Chosen loneliness can be either practical or protective.
An example of chosen practical loneliness is when someone choses to be isolated from people – being alone but not necessarily lonely.
Chosen protective loneliness occurs when a person pursues loneliness to avoid the disappointment of rejection or pain in a relationship.
3. Core loneliness exists because we live in a sinful world – God created us for relationships. However loneliness and the suffering it causes are both temporary and useful.
“Though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials, these have come so that you faith – of greater wealth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire – may prove to be genuine,” 1 Peter 1:6,7
Three common responses to loneliness and isolation are:
- Deny – “I never think about feeling lonely.”
- Minimise – “I feel lonely sometimes, doesn’t everybody?”
- Embrace – “Yes I feel lonely and isolated sometimes. I’m so tempted to give up on relationships. Lord, what can I do to overcome these feelings of loneliness and isolation?”
Correct attitudes toward feelings of loneliness:
- Acknowledge that loneliness is a part of your life.
“You have taken my loved ones and companions from me: the darkness is my closest friend.” Psalm 88:18
- Do not impose guilt on yourself for feeling lonely – Satan is the accuser.
“For the accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down.” Revelation 12:10
- Desire to be supported in your loneliness
“God sets the lonely in families.” Psalm 68:6 (Your family may be a Church group such as LIVE)
The greatest cry of loneliness came from the cross when Jesus said, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Jesus has experienced loneliness and will help us through it.
Joy in loneliness
Loneliness can be very painful. The choice for all of us is not if we will accept pain, but how. We often cannot change the circumstances, but we can change the way we respond to them.
“The joy of the Lord is my strength.” Nehemiah 8:10.
We can choose to be joyful. There is a difference between joy and happiness. Happiness (from the same root as “happen”) depends on circumstances, but joy defies the circumstances. Joy is that deep settled confidence that God loves us and that we matter to God. Sarah’s servant Hagar understood this fact. When Hagar hit rock bottom, God was there for her, and this is what she said,
“You are the God who sees me.” Genesis 16:13
Steps to minimise loneliness and isolation
1. Plan to engage in activities with others. Even during this time of self-isolation, stay connected with family and friends if possible, and a group such as LIVE by phone, email or zoom etc.
2. Get rid of negative thoughts. They rob us of joy. A good way to stop thinking negatively is to start thinking of how to help others. For those of us who can leave our homes this may involve shopping for those in need. For all of us we can pray – for our family and friends who are close to us and for those in other countries who have great physical, spiritual and emotional needs.
3. Make friends. Think of creative ways to strengthen relationships with family and acquaintances.
4. Focus on Jesus. Spend time each day in prayer and Bible reading. Listen to Christian music.
Don’t become totally absorbed with your circumstances.
In the book, “You Gotta Keep Dancin”, Tim Hansen offers us some wise words of advice on how to use joy to cope with the pain of loneliness and isolation.
“Pain is inevitable, but misery is optional. We cannot avoid pain, but we can avoid joy. God has given us the freedom to be as miserable as we want to be.”
by Irene Tanner
One Response
Thanks for posting this Irene. I found it practical and easy to read. There is freedom when we align our thinking with biblical truths.